Now You're Thinking with Teamwork
by cten
Summary: "Have you ever heard of Aperture Science before, Sniper?" In a last-ditch effort to somehow defeat Gray Mann, Scout and Sniper head up to the ruins of Aperture Science to find answers and help. However, things are not what they seem, and the two are thrown into a whole new level of insanity. Like really, they thought that the whole "never ending war over gravel" thing was weird.
1. Raise the Baton

[Note: This is on both and Wattpad for your reading pleasure.]

Alright, so I have no real explanation for this, other than Valve has some great games that would work pretty well together if you mashed them together, but some characters that'd raise heck if they were stuck in the same room. So this happened. Takes place after the events of Portal 2, where GLaDOS is in control of the facility and Wheatley is in space (the final frontier), and takes place after Ring of Fired, where Gray Mann has fired all the mercs (but before Spy and Scout get arrested).

Also warning for implied SniperSpy but really that's just Scout talking.

* * *

There were only some many insane shenanigans that Sniper- no, any of the mercs- could actually take from Scout, but this took the cake and placed a little cherry on top just to spite him. After all, he should've been gone by now, dispersed in the wind like all of the other members of his team, maybe taken a plane back home to see (and once again explain his occupation to) his parents, but of course not. He'd have to get stuck with the twitchy little hooligan as a travelling partner, stuck in his camper van- speaking of which, said twitchy hooligan was talking, an endless stream of chatter coming out of him. Tuning it out was pretty simple, however- just interrupt him.

"So, Scout... Please, fill me in. Why are we even doing this?"

"Well, uh... Y'see, Snipes, I was talkin' to Miss Pauling before the whole 'we all got fired and shit' stuff, an-"

"You were talking with her."

"Yeah, I was talking with her. And not even in the way you and Spy talk sometimes, even though there is _totally _nothing wrong with liking a dude, I-"

"Scout, if I've told you once, I've told you more than a million times... You know what, drop it. What were you talking about?"

"Have you ever heard of Aperture Science before, Sniper?"

_Aperture Science? _The name itself seemed familiar to him, maybe it was a thing that Medic and Engineer might've exchanged a few words about in the past, but nothing big. Sniper looked over at Scout and shrugged, mumbling something incoherent. Scout took this as a 'well how should I bloody know' and decided to elaborate.

"Y'see, they're this other company that used to be huge. Gigantic, even. Not like Mann Co. or anything, but still, huge. And then the owner of it went insane and they went bankrupt. No big surprise there, happens to every big boss head after a while. But people say he had this lady friend, and oh boy was she a woman a' science if you get my drift, an-"

"Get on with it, Scout. I may have all day driving to wherever you're giving me the directions to, but I don't want to spend all of it talking about people that may not even matter anymore."

"Uh-huh, okay. So long story short, Aperture used to manufacture robots, too. You see where I'm going with this?" Scout reclined back in his seat as much as he could (there was not much room in the front of the camper van to do so) and looked over at the older man, giving him a bucktoothed smile. "Miss Pauling said they might have a way to help. Like. We could have our own robot army to beat Gray's robot army, y'know?"

"So why are you taking me with you?"

"Well... Uh. You're the only one who hadn't absolutely disappeared off the face of the Earth that could drive? And you would be interested in getting your job back too, right?" Scout shrugged a bit and paused, trying to think through his next words. "You... You don't mind, do you?"

"Well of course I _mind_, you little-" Sniper sighed softly and looked away from Scout, who seemed to shrink down in his seat just the tiniest bit. "There's a reason the others disappeared off the face of the Earth, they probably had a good idea that maybe, just maybe we're being tailed so they can finish us off. And maybe some of us don't want to get involved in that stupid war again."

Oddly enough, that was the first time Sniper had ever heard Scout get that silent. All that he could hear for a few minutes was the soft hum of the engine, and maybe the sounds outside if he paid enough attention. Sighing softly, he quickly added to his last statement. "But... If it'll get ya to stop shutting up, I'll humor you. Just don't be surprised when we don't find anything."

Quickly Scout lit up like it was Australian Christmas morning and began to chatter on again, something about how awesome it was going to be once they got their jobs back and everyone was happy, while Sniper simply rolled his eyes and continued driving. It would be a while, anyway; getting from New Mexico to the upper part of Michigan would take time, even if (when) Sniper sped. However, it was nice having someone to listen to (even though Sniper would've preferred one of his more sane team members, such as Engineer or maybe Spy, though the latter would probably make his van smell like stale cigarette smoke and nobody wanted that). It was kind of peaceful and reminded Sniper of those days where there'd be no fighting, where everything was fine.

But just like those days, he had the strangest feeling inside that it wouldn't last for too long.

* * *

Alright! Chapter one down, a bunch'a other chapters to go! (I didn't plan on sleeping anyway). Don't worry, you'll see them messing around with portals soon enough.

As for ships, because I know that could be a thing people are thinking about... Most of it will be implied (or teased at), I guess? If a lot of people want to see a certain ship and it works in the story, I miiight just put it in, who knows?


	2. Aperture Science Reminder

Hecka yeah guess who's back with a chapter 2? It's me. I'm back. Yeah.

Warning for improper use of neurotoxin, mentions of death, just. All the stuff you'd see in these fanfics.

* * *

Upper Peninsula, Michigan

The drive itself hadn't been eventful- it was mostly just one-sided conversation and occasional bathroom breaks. Once the camper can- Scout's "affectionate" nickname for the van- had started rolling into the area of their destination, however, it was a different story.

"Holy crap this place is a dump."

Sniper watched as Scout picked around the debris of what might have been an office building, maybe a few testing labs on mice or something. They seemed to be in what once was a parking lot, if the parking lot had been through the war as well. Leaning on his van a bit, Sniper sighed and called out to the younger man.

"Told you, there's nothing here. There were no security people, no nothing."

"Nope, there is obviously something here. I just feel it."

If there was one thing Sniper hated about Scout (other than his attitude, pattern of speech, face... The list goes on) it was his odd stubbornness. The kid could die dozens of times to the same sentry gun, come back, and go running at it again. Sighing, he went inside his van to grab a drink or two as Scout continued to pick at whatever metal parts were strewn around before going for the building, trying to open a door.

A few rough slams into a door later, the door swung open and Scout looked back at Sniper, a mischievous grin on his face. Even with the ' don't you dare' look Sniper was giving him, he quickly darted inside the building, prompting the former to hurry in after him. If he died in there, or got insanely hurt, there was no Respawn or Medic to fall back on.

"Scout."

"Sniper."

"What the bloody hell are you doing in there, you idiot?"

"Don't question me, I know what I'm doing."

Sniper rolled his eyes and followed the younger man, senses on high alert as they ventured into the facility. Overgrown plants started to appear as they went in deeper and deeper, along with leaks and oddly enough, broken window panels. They were like the ones in Medic's operating room, the ones that the higher ups used to watch through, but decrepit and old. Papers littered the floors, things about tests or potatoes and something called the ashpod, if the wayward glances Sniper took at them were right.

It took a lot to make Sniper, of all people, unnerved, but this certainly fit the ticket. The cameras were the worst part.

Said cameras installed in the upper corner of each room were disconcerting enough, but the red light in each of them made it all the more worse. That is, until they took a kukri or a baseball to the lens. Then it was just more metal scrap. After a good round or two of exploring and knocking cameras off of walls, Scout slumped down in one of the deserted chairs and leaned back.

"Okay, Sniper, you were right. There is really nothing here... Wanna go back up? Aw man, what are we gonna tell the others?"

"Well, we could always tell them-"

"The Aperture Science Enrichment Center would like to remind you that any and all unauthorized nonpersonnel will be dealt with accordingly." A soft, monotonous female's voice rang throughout the room, giving both Scout and Sniper the memory of The Announcer, but colder. It didn't take the two of them long to quickly bolt from the room, unaware of the soft hissing noise coming from, well, everywhere. Really, it was hard to take notice of it until the rolling clouds of gas started to form.

Said rolling clouds of gas had an odd color and smell to them, and judging by that, both men could tell it would probably kill them. The feeling that slowly began to wash over them was one they were familiar with- death. Sniper watched as Scout began to lag, stop running altogether, and slump against the wall, gasping like a fish does for air.

Stumbling himself, Sniper hit the floor with a thump and let the world fade to black. The last thing he felt was something tugging at his leg, probably to pull his dead body away.

Well. That was one way to prove his suspicions.

* * *

and then they die the end

im sorry that escalated too quickly but cliffhangers

also silly fun fact- glados is voiced by the same person who voices the administrator so that's pretty cool (and that woman is also married to snipers voice actor it's such a small world)

So before I wrap this up- respawn. Since most if not all of TF2 takes place at bases, it's safe to say there are respawns there that can somehow, with the power of science, bring the mercs back to life. However that's only in functional in the range of the base, meaning if any of the mercs were killed outside of the range of respawn, they'd be dead for real. Which is why dying here is such a big deal.


	3. The Final Frontier

They're dead. That's how the story ends, the end, test in pieces you two it was totally worth two chapters and some time of my life yes good lets switch characters because they are in fact dead

Warning for mentions of science, and the occurrences found in Meet the Medic. If that squicks you out, I mean.

* * *

She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

A cold, golden optic glared at the screen in front of her, raised up to her dangling chassis for comfort. Not that She cared about comfort, considering she was a robot and all. But robot or not, she could still feel, and what she was feeling was either disappointment or bewilderment. What made it even worse was that, for once, she wasn't sure which one it was.

GLaDOS, simply put, was not a happy robot.

She'd laid off human testing, for the most part- after Chell and the little moron had caused her all the trouble she went through, she found it easier to use her pair of testing robots. They were more durable and all, anyway. So when she found two trespassers lurking in the upper wings of the facility, she figured a small dash of neurotoxin would work and then she could burn their bodies, or something.

It had been hours since then, and they still weren't dead. They should've died on contact with the stuff, actually, but they still weren't dead. GLaDOS wasn't sure what to say, or to think. Humans weren't like this- no, any living being. There was no way these two weren't dead, but there they were, being alive. And in stasis. GLaDOS put them both in Extended Relaxation chambers once she realized they weren't dead; there was no need to have another human incident.

But at the same time, she wanted to know more. A quick scan confirmed they were not robots (however the transplanted baboon hearts and dove sealed away in the annoying one were odd signs, maybe of some botched surgery or something); but simply men who had gone through some medical tests before. The residual affects of something coursing through their bloodstream were the cause of the neurotoxin not taking affect. It even seemed to be healing them back to full health. Odd.

Part of her wanted to kill them, the other parts wanted to test them. See how long that effect would last. Of course, she'd sworn off of human testing...

Then again, these two weren't simple humans. Maybe she'd plop them in the incinerator when she was done running a few tests on them. That'd solve her problems. That was a great idea.

There was testing to be done, and GLaDOS had found two new interesting test subjects.

This was bad, very bad.

Wheatley had been floating around the expanse of space for a while, orbiting around the planet like a very chatty satellite. Except now there was nobody to talk to, nobody to see.

The emptiness of it all made it terrible, lonely, and quiet- things he wasn't used to. Even when he had his old job tending to all the humans, he had other cores, the occasional human. But the only company he had now was Space Core, and they weren't the best conversational partner in the universe.

"Space, I'm in space!"

Wheatley rolled his cracked blue optic at the excited core before looking down at the blue expanse that was Earth. He wondered if Chell was able to make it out, if She killed her. He didn't know, and the absolute worst was not knowing. Not after that large burst of knowledge he'd had when he was in charge.

But no, he was back to being little old Wheatley, the moron.

At first space was alright, it was pretty, but other than that it wasn't much of anything really. He didn't understand why humans were going crazy about it. There was nothing out here except for dust and the Space Core.

Actually, he was so busy contemplating why humans were so obsessed with space when a piece of shrapnel managed to collide into him, knocking him out of orbit. He could hear Space Core call out to him, something about space junk, but he was too far away to hear what they actually said.

Colliding with the atmosphere again was like meeting with an old friend. An old friend that wasn't actually your friend and forced you down the ground in a flaming ball of metal. Speaking of which, that was what Wheatley was doing.

Maybe that was his punishment for being a terrible friend. Death by gravity.

And then in one instant, it was over, and Wheatley was aware of dry, arid ground. Also fire. Lots of fire.

**Initiating emergency reboot in three...**

His optic slowly began to fizzle out and close. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a boot. A human boot. On a human foot.

**Two...**

A gloved hand slowly picked him up, turning him over a few times as if examining him. He didn't have enough power left in him to turn again, so he simply let himself be looked at.

"Well, goodnight Irene..."

**One.**

And then there was nothing.

* * *

Cackles because cliffhanger again. I can't help cliffhangers, even in filler chapters.

The residual stuff GLaDOS mentions is in fact the stuff that powers the Medigun (which, according to out takes of Meet the Medic, is mostly liquid and a mess of a whole lot of stuff). Headcanon speaking, I always thought of it like even after being healed, traces of it would be found in their systems which is why they can handle so much even when not being healed.

So from this point on we have two main plot lines- the one concerning Sniper and Scout in Aperture, and the one detailing Wheatley's fun adventures outside. This can only end so well, right?


End file.
